Insecurities ....

Everyone has insecurities - and they are as different as each one of us are different. I think we have insecurities as a result of sin and I think God can use our insecurities to draw us closer to him and find our security in him.

For me my biggest insecurities is in my looks - in the way I feel I look and in my selfworth. I am sure I am not alone in this insecurity as we daily are being bombarded and brain washed by Hollywood, magazines, tv show etc telling us that we need to look like this to be beautiful. Anything over a size 2 is too large - you have to have perfect teeth that are shiny white - you have to wear designer clothes - one outfit that would cost enough to feed a small village. Why is it that we know in our heads that what Hollywood or tv, or the "world" calls beautiful is not real its not reality its not who God made us to be its all fake but why do we strive to be like "their" standards. Maybe I'm the only one that buys into all that but somehow I doubt I'm the only one. I have a horrible habit that does nothing for myself but makes me feel worse off - it seems like wherever I go or whatever show or movie I'm watching I compare myself to the girls I see. My husband gets so frustrated with me and I get frustrated with myself - I wish so much I could literally just walk through the mall and not compare myself to one person but its just such a bad habit its almost become an addiction. Its funny because I have been noticing so much lately beautiful burnets and I've always been a blonde - naturally I am a blonde but over the years I my blonde has become darker so I have lightened it to be a lighter blonde but with burnet being the new blonde I finally gave in this weekend and changed my hair to burnet - I do like it and in no way did I do it just to fit in but I do admit I did it because I wondered - would I look better as a burnet? would I feel better about myself?

I say all this to lead me to the point that my BEAUTIFUL sister reminded me of yesterday - no matter how many diets I try, no matter how many hair colours I use, no matter how expensive the clothes I wear (and I am telling you I don't buy expensive clothes I would just feel way too guilty wearing them ) they will not make me beautiful and they won't even make me feel beautiful. My worth and beauty comes from God and until I find my true self worth and truly feel beautiful for who God has made me I wont like myself.

Bethany Dillion sings a song that says it all so perfectly - its called simply "Beautiful" I have attached the video that has the lyrics on it here. Watch it and really listen to the lyrics because they have a powerful truth to them and those words hold healing. At the end of the song it says " You make me worthy of love and beautiful". Even though today I don't feel worthy of love and I definitely don't feel beautiful I know deep down that I am worthy of love because he gave his body on the cross because he loved me so much. I am beautiful because "God don't make no junk". He made me just the way he wanted me - perfect just the way I am and I need to believe that to find my true self worth and beauty.




YouTube - Bethany Dillon- "Beautiful" with Lyrics on Screen