Wednesday, September 30, 2009

He delivers me...

Its been one of those weeks... you know what kind I'm talking about. No not the kind that are full of wonderful surprises, warm enjoyable weather, lots of good shopping deals, lots of good chats with friends and time with family.... no not that kind of week. My week has been full of feeling like Im getting sick which is not good for obvious reasons but especially as I'm to sing at my cousins wedding on Saturday, full of frustrations and things not going the way they need to or should be, feeling lonely and missing having people in my life, missing having exciting things to do, wishing my husband didn't work such long long hours and just wishing I could stay in bed and to top it off driving to church on Sunday I discovered a huge crack in my windshield... all I could do was let the tears fall and just say to Jesus "OK I've had enough!!" ... ever feel that way? I sure hope Im not the only one.... so I just sat and had a good cry and then I turned the music up and just let whatever song came on mend my soul and the words I heard did start to do the trick

"When I feel like I can't go on
You deliver me, When there's a distance
Between what I am and who I want to be
You deliver me"

Oh How I wish just like that I felt better but it was not so... and although my week still stinks I know He will deliver me from all this... I just keep reminding myself tomorrow IS another day... and because of Him I can face whatever tomorrow holds.

Tomorrow marks October 1st so I am going to try and post one thing a day I am thankful for... what are you thankful for??

Monday, September 21, 2009

Fall, Fall, Fall

I can't believe it is official Fall - although we are/where having such summer like weather up until today - now it looks and feels like fall. I haven't been blogging lately as Im going through some private stuff and its hard not to just vent on here and well I don't think that would be the best thing for right now so I've been avoiding writing here but been keeping my own personal journal offline. God is so faithful and good let me just say that upfront.

Lets see - September marked the year anniversary of Preston's death. I have mentioned it before because I met P and his beautiful wife when I was at college and although we shared some classes God has used P's death to change my life. He broke my heart for P's wife and really made me realize how short life is. The Bible says we are just a vapour and even though I have known people who have died and its sad nothing has ever "rocked" me this hard as His death did. I remember the day, the place where I was when I heard the news so vividly. The thing I love about God is He makes no mistakes, His timing, His ways are so perfect. I never knew 6 years ago when I met Tara how God would use her in my life and place her in a spot in my heart that can't be replaced. I truly love this girl and she challenges me daily to be the best wife, daughter, Christian I can be - and sometimes I dont even think she knows she does. Thats just how amazing she really is. When I say she is beautiful I dont mean just outwardly either.

October also will mark the one year death of my grandma. I still can't been a year since both these two remarkable people have been gone. I love to think of how cool it would be for the two of them to be sitting at the banquet table just getting to know each other. Oh how heaven gained to heros and as much as Preston and my Grandma are so missed here on earth I wouldn't wish them back.

As much as Im a hot weather kind of girl I enjoy the change of seasons. I have been feeling "blue" lately so last week I decided one morning to go for a drive just me and Jesus. I popped in the new Selah cd (which may I add is fantastic) and I just drove out in the country and although some trees are still green alot have started to change colour and oh how beautiful they are. I had tears in my eyes as I listened to the music and drove. Tears of joy for how faithful and good God is, how beautiful His creation is, how lucky I am to live in such a free land and yet their are people still giving their lives so that I can live freely in this land, tears of sadness for two lives lost just a year ago, tears for my dear friend who is now a widow and raising two precious boys with out a daddy, tears because lets face it sometimes us girls just need a good cry.

I love October (I know its not October yet) because of Thanksgiving. I am so thankful for so many things in my life and so many people and I find at Thanksgiving (October) it forces me to really stop and be thankful and appreciate all I do have. I wish I was better at doing that throughout the year but I am working on it. This year I am especially thankful because we will finally take ownership of our very own FIRST house and that is definitely something to be thankful for. So Im going to try really hard for the month of October to post daily something/someone Im thankful for and why.

For those of you (and you know who you are) that are praying for me... keep praying!! God listens and hears every prayer and He does answer... even if you wait 6 years to see the full blessing of why he brings someone into your life like he did for me and T, or if you have to wait a few weeks to get an answer He is faithful.

So I guess I wanna know what is your favorite thing/part of Fall?

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Please pray....

*Update* after spending 2 weeks in the hospital, being isolated, 2 surgeries Ty is home with a Picc Line and taking iv antibiotics every 6 hours and that will last for 6 weeks... even though Lindsay (his mommy who is a nurse) is exhausted from the 6 hour intervals everyone is happy to be home and mending - so thanks for praying **

Our very dear friends Matt and Lindsay have twin boys who are both 2 years old now. You probably remember me posting awhile back when they came and spent the weekend with us and our trip to the zoo... well Ty (the one Im holding in this picture)

has been running a fever for a few days now and has been to the doctor countless times and they kept telling Lindsay it was just a virus ect while finally on Monday they sent him to a specialist and late last night the specialist sent him via ambulance to Toronto Sick Kids Hospital where in my opinion is the best place for any sick baby/child to be. There another specialist was waiting for them when the arrived and they have been running tons of tests on the poor little guy. It breaks my heart to see him so sick and the doctors without alot of answers ... they sent him into surgery and he has just come out but they are saying they wont have many answers till atleast tomorrow so will you please pray with me. Pray for our dear friends Matt and Lindsay as its hard to watch your little child lay so sick and not be able to help. Its especially hard for Lindsay as she is a nurse and she knows all too well what could happen to her son. My husband and I are heading down to the hospital after Im done work to be with them they have asked us to come and just keep them company so that is the lest we can do other then pray... so will you join me please pray. There is a complete and divine power in prayer I do believe that and I know that God's plan will be carried out in this. I promise to report back with what I hope will be good news but mostly I just pray that I can hold it together tonight when we go see Ty and that we can encourage Matt and Lindsay. We love you guys and are praying for you!!