Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Wordy Wednesday...

* Attention: this post will be all over the place because my brain in running a mile a minute these days and I want to try and get everything out that is on it (my brain) so I can sleep well tonight *

Well this morning I took my mom to Joseph Brant Hospital (in Burlington) for a day surgery she had scheduled and to be honest I just love going to the hospital so I was fine with taking her until I realized what ungodly hour I had to be out of the house by. May I mention here how much I hate mornings and therefore mornings hate me. Yes I was ready on time and out the house at 8:30 am (you can all stop laughing that I call that an ungodly hour) like we had planned but not before I had slammed my finger in my dresser drawer, missed my husband's phone call and couldn't get my zipper on my jacket done up. I tell ya mornings hate me, but thankfully the Lord sent the sunshine to cheer me up on my hour drive to the hospital. My mom and I had some good talks, like we usually do, about things going on in our family etc. We were able to pray about family members who need it and all while the sun shone on us and we listened to the Hillsong cd. (I so would love to see Hillsong live - I think that would be an amazing experience).

We were at the hospital in plenty of time and yet again I came to the same realization I did when she had the procedure done the first time in December that the hospital is always running behind... and so to be on time means to sit for an hour, but thats ok because I may be weird for saying this but I love being at the hospital - I always have. Once my mom was gone into surgery it was just me sitting in her little room waiting and as I looked around at all the interesting things in the room, things used to help save peoples lives I felt my heart becoming a little sad; sad because I never achieved nor did I really attempt to fulfill my dream of being a doctor or even a nurse. I have always wanted to be a doctor (most little kids do) but my desire and dream followed me right into high school but I felt far to stupid or dumb to ever make it as a doctor so I thought maybe I could handle the 4 years of nursing (may I make myself very clear I am in no way calling nurses stupid or dumb or saying they are any less important than the doctors because I think nurses are very important and I believe their role at times is more important than a doctors because they have to nurture and have a sense of caring about them to keep patients and their family's comfortable and bring them comfort often times as well ) school but I never even tired because I gave into the pressure from everyone around me to pursue my gift of music and in no way am I trying to blame others for not going into medicine - I just sometimes wonder what would my life be like if I had. How I envy the wonderful job nurses and doctors have and do. I am not saying its an easy job, but how I would love to be them. So for the past few months I have been thinking how could I, without spending the next few years in school, work in some related way in a hospital setting...
** if your tired of reading already I did warn you at the top about this being long and wordy**

God has also been working in my heart in another area. I have a deep desire to have a baby and be a mommy. Every since I was a little girl my dream was to be a mom - a stay at home mom. And as of yet I have not be able to get pregnant so for now daily I have to remind myself that it is not God's plan and will for my life, or better yet Tom and my lives to have a baby yet - I'm not ready to say that is His plan for our lives forever - So I have been really burdened for babies especially sick babies and babies born to mothers who are just not ready to be mommies and I have been asking God "ok you've given me the burden now what am I to do with it"? And I would love to say to you today I have the answer but I don't. All I know is I love children very much - that is evident in the fact that I spent 5 summers working at camp with children, I spent years babysitting, spent Sundays working in the nursery and even was a live in nanny for a few years. I have a burden and am praying for direction with it. I have contacted our local hospital to see if I can volunteer or be of any help to sick babies just to even hold them and love them til they are better but our local hospital doesn't provide such a service as most babies there aren't that sick and they really encourage the mothers to be with the babies, which I understand and that makes sense, but it was frustrating for me because I KNOW (and I'm not all that smart) that there are babies out there sick or just that long to be held, taken care of and loved and that may be only for a few days, weeks or months - I'm not necessarily talking about adoption here... anyways I think I have rambled on long enough to get my point and my heart across so if anyone reads this * and thankfully I know people are because I have 2 official followers and I have had a few comments so yah :) people read my stuff * has any ideas or thoughts to help me on this journey of putting feet to my burden, actions to my hearts desire I would love to hear them.

On a totally different topic I am honoured to pray for people's struggles and trials that Jesus calls them to bare. Friends we have been given this huge gift (it is a gift because we don't deserve it nor did we earn it) of being able to call on Him whenever we need to and we are able to hold one another up in prayer so I am asking you to pray for my dear sweet friend Jess. Pray for her, pray for her husband, for their marriage and for their sweet kiddies. Satan is at work friends not just in Jess's family but in so many marriages and lives and he would love nothing better then to win but Jesus tells us with Him we can have the victory - I know I sound like I'm preaching but it breaks my heart to hear of how Satan is destroying lives and families so lets rally together and get praying....

2 comments:

  1. WOW Katie!
    Thanks for sending out my request! Can't have too much prayer!
    There are babies out there needing a hug! God has blessed you with this passion for them, Praise God that you are looking for ways to use it!!!
    HIS WILL will be done! And you're right, it is hard to give that to God, I've had to give Chris to him...even though it'd be so much easier to tell God through my prayer what should be done....as if I know better than almighty GOD!

    I will keep you in my prayers as I know you are keeping me in yours! Keep blogging! Thanks for introducing me to the blogging world!!

    STICK TOGETHER! Divided we fall...together we stand in prayer and the devil will NOT had a foothold.

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  2. Thanks Katie for sharing your burden!! I will keep you in my prayers and your friend as well:) As far as your burden for babies that need love have you thought about foster care?! Just a thought!!
    Karen

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