He delivers me...

Its been one of those weeks... you know what kind I'm talking about. No not the kind that are full of wonderful surprises, warm enjoyable weather, lots of good shopping deals, lots of good chats with friends and time with family.... no not that kind of week. My week has been full of feeling like Im getting sick which is not good for obvious reasons but especially as I'm to sing at my cousins wedding on Saturday, full of frustrations and things not going the way they need to or should be, feeling lonely and missing having people in my life, missing having exciting things to do, wishing my husband didn't work such long long hours and just wishing I could stay in bed and to top it off driving to church on Sunday I discovered a huge crack in my windshield... all I could do was let the tears fall and just say to Jesus "OK I've had enough!!" ... ever feel that way? I sure hope Im not the only one.... so I just sat and had a good cry and then I turned the music up and just let whatever song came on mend my soul and the words I heard did start to do the trick

"When I feel like I can't go on
You deliver me, When there's a distance
Between what I am and who I want to be
You deliver me"

Oh How I wish just like that I felt better but it was not so... and although my week still stinks I know He will deliver me from all this... I just keep reminding myself tomorrow IS another day... and because of Him I can face whatever tomorrow holds.

Tomorrow marks October 1st so I am going to try and post one thing a day I am thankful for... what are you thankful for??

Fall, Fall, Fall

I can't believe it is official Fall - although we are/where having such summer like weather up until today - now it looks and feels like fall. I haven't been blogging lately as Im going through some private stuff and its hard not to just vent on here and well I don't think that would be the best thing for right now so I've been avoiding writing here but been keeping my own personal journal offline. God is so faithful and good let me just say that upfront.

Lets see - September marked the year anniversary of Preston's death. I have mentioned it before because I met P and his beautiful wife when I was at college and although we shared some classes God has used P's death to change my life. He broke my heart for P's wife and really made me realize how short life is. The Bible says we are just a vapour and even though I have known people who have died and its sad nothing has ever "rocked" me this hard as His death did. I remember the day, the place where I was when I heard the news so vividly. The thing I love about God is He makes no mistakes, His timing, His ways are so perfect. I never knew 6 years ago when I met Tara how God would use her in my life and place her in a spot in my heart that can't be replaced. I truly love this girl and she challenges me daily to be the best wife, daughter, Christian I can be - and sometimes I dont even think she knows she does. Thats just how amazing she really is. When I say she is beautiful I dont mean just outwardly either.

October also will mark the one year death of my grandma. I still can't been a year since both these two remarkable people have been gone. I love to think of how cool it would be for the two of them to be sitting at the banquet table just getting to know each other. Oh how heaven gained to heros and as much as Preston and my Grandma are so missed here on earth I wouldn't wish them back.

As much as Im a hot weather kind of girl I enjoy the change of seasons. I have been feeling "blue" lately so last week I decided one morning to go for a drive just me and Jesus. I popped in the new Selah cd (which may I add is fantastic) and I just drove out in the country and although some trees are still green alot have started to change colour and oh how beautiful they are. I had tears in my eyes as I listened to the music and drove. Tears of joy for how faithful and good God is, how beautiful His creation is, how lucky I am to live in such a free land and yet their are people still giving their lives so that I can live freely in this land, tears of sadness for two lives lost just a year ago, tears for my dear friend who is now a widow and raising two precious boys with out a daddy, tears because lets face it sometimes us girls just need a good cry.

I love October (I know its not October yet) because of Thanksgiving. I am so thankful for so many things in my life and so many people and I find at Thanksgiving (October) it forces me to really stop and be thankful and appreciate all I do have. I wish I was better at doing that throughout the year but I am working on it. This year I am especially thankful because we will finally take ownership of our very own FIRST house and that is definitely something to be thankful for. So Im going to try really hard for the month of October to post daily something/someone Im thankful for and why.

For those of you (and you know who you are) that are praying for me... keep praying!! God listens and hears every prayer and He does answer... even if you wait 6 years to see the full blessing of why he brings someone into your life like he did for me and T, or if you have to wait a few weeks to get an answer He is faithful.

So I guess I wanna know what is your favorite thing/part of Fall?

Please pray....

*Update* after spending 2 weeks in the hospital, being isolated, 2 surgeries Ty is home with a Picc Line and taking iv antibiotics every 6 hours and that will last for 6 weeks... even though Lindsay (his mommy who is a nurse) is exhausted from the 6 hour intervals everyone is happy to be home and mending - so thanks for praying **

Our very dear friends Matt and Lindsay have twin boys who are both 2 years old now. You probably remember me posting awhile back when they came and spent the weekend with us and our trip to the zoo... well Ty (the one Im holding in this picture)








has been running a fever for a few days now and has been to the doctor countless times and they kept telling Lindsay it was just a virus ect while finally on Monday they sent him to a specialist and late last night the specialist sent him via ambulance to Toronto Sick Kids Hospital where in my opinion is the best place for any sick baby/child to be. There another specialist was waiting for them when the arrived and they have been running tons of tests on the poor little guy. It breaks my heart to see him so sick and the doctors without alot of answers ... they sent him into surgery and he has just come out but they are saying they wont have many answers till atleast tomorrow so will you please pray with me. Pray for our dear friends Matt and Lindsay as its hard to watch your little child lay so sick and not be able to help. Its especially hard for Lindsay as she is a nurse and she knows all too well what could happen to her son. My husband and I are heading down to the hospital after Im done work to be with them they have asked us to come and just keep them company so that is the lest we can do other then pray... so will you join me please pray. There is a complete and divine power in prayer I do believe that and I know that God's plan will be carried out in this. I promise to report back with what I hope will be good news but mostly I just pray that I can hold it together tonight when we go see Ty and that we can encourage Matt and Lindsay. We love you guys and are praying for you!!

Whats a song??

As I was playing my piano this morning this blog started to brew in my head so here goes.... I think everyone would agree that words are powerful therefore songs can be powerful. After all songs are words merely put to music correct? I have studied alot of music and songs over my life time, being a music student from the time for 4 years old and studying it in post secondary school will do that to you. I can sit at my piano for hours and just play and sing. I love to hear/learn new songs and I have to say there are so many great music writers out there - very God gifted and talented people and best of all they are using their talents for God. I don't know about you but there is just something about poping on a worship cd or a cd by your favorite Christian artist that does "the soul good" if you know what I mean. Often when Im sad and listen to music I feel comforted or happy, if Im feeling down listening to it can lift me up, it just brightens my day and brings me in a sweet commune with God. I truly believe God uses music to touch peoples lives and communicate with them - after all thats what most of the book of Psalms is. Growing up in a Christian family I have been blessed and fortunate enough to attend church my entire life therefore allowing me the privilege to learn many songs and watch as we enter into a new generation of worship songs. We no longer only sing hymns at church but we sing praise choruses, new worship songs that have a such power and truth to them. Do you ever find you wake up in the morning with a song already playing in your head? I get that alot and I am so glad when its Christian songs because I truly believe what we listen to effects us whether we think it does or not. I try really hard not to listen to the radio... not because Im some great saint, or because their isn't good tunes out there or because I want to cut myself off from the world but simply because I know for me what I listen to effects the way I think, effects my mood, and it effects the way in which I respond to situations. I really love the old hymns, this is not to say I dont believe music today has less truth to them or they are less "Godly" because I don't but there is just something about singing an old hymn. One of my favorite hymns is "I'd rather have Jesus". I really love the chords and notes of this song but more powerful then the music are the words and the truth they bring.

I'D RATHER HAVE JESUS

(Miller / Shea)

George Beverly Shea

I'd rather have Jesus than silver or gold,

I'd rather be His than have riches untold;

I'd rather have Jesus than houses or land,

I'd rather be led by His nail-pierced hand:

Chorus

Than to be the king of a vast domain

Or be held in sin's dread sway

I'd rather have Jesus than anything

This world affords today

I'd rather have Jesus than men's applause,

I'd rather be faithful to His dear cause;

I'd rather have Jesus than worldwide fame,

I'd rather be true to His holy name:...

He's fairer than lilies of rarest bloom,

He's sweeter than honey from out the comb;

He's all that my hungering spirit needs;

I'd rather have Jesus and let Him lead

I don't think I need to go into detail - the words a pretty self explanatory but I love to sing this song often. I think of the words of which I am singing because often we just sing songs but we don't really think about what we are saying when we sing. I often joke with my husband ab out how awesome it would be to be rich or just to have a little bit more money - not because I think money makes you happy because I know it doesn't but just because it would be nice to be rich and be able to buy other people stuff to be able to just not ever have to worry about money (yes I know God will supply all my needs thats for another post) but if I had to pic k between riches, my house (which I can't wait to move into) material things I like ie: shoes, handbags, clothes I know I would pick Jesus hands down every time.


I know that Jesus choose me instead of worldly things , he choose to die on a cross for me instead of mans applause so why should it even be a question for what you and I would choose? Do yo u enjoy music? What are some of your favorite songs or artists?

Redeemed...

The dictionary says Redeemed means

• deliver: save from sins
• restore the honor or worth of

And I like that!! This year has been a trying one for many many reason for me personally, for my family and for some of my friends and as of late I have really been growing in my walk with God especially in this whole area of "being redeemed". I have known for a long time (growing up in a Christian family, attending church, a Christian school etc) that I am redeemed by God's blood and grace but I don't think I have really ever tried to understand what that means. I really like the second part of the definition "restore the honor and worth of". God through His shed blood has made me worthy of something and honourable. I have been blog slacking of late because for one this summer has been crazy busy with weddings, buying a house, moving my sister, cottage holidays etc but also because I have been trying to spend the time I would be blogging and spending it focusing on my "blogging" or my chatting with God. I donno about you but I find it so much easier to just give God my 20 minutes a day for a short devotional but I can sit at my computer for hours reading about your lives etc and oh how ashamed I am of that fact and yet it's easy to just recognize it but that won't fix it I have to do something about that and so I have been.

This is not to say I was not spending time with God before this I was just I don't think I was giving Him enough time if you know what I mean. I'm finding such a sweet peace inside me and I feel like my relationship is growing so much stronger and I'm excited about that. This year I have seen a friend loose her husband, I saw a horrible disease (cancer) take my grandma's life and I saw her fight so hard and bravely to beat it but she didn't, I have felt the pain and longing to be a mommy and yet am not yet pregnant, I have felt and experience the joy and pain of friendships, I have experience the joy of buying a house and the nervousness and anxiety that brings I have suffered my own personal health issues and the fear and uncertainty they bring.

I read something the other day that really moved me and I feel obligated to share.“...Our healing begins when we participate in the suffering of God. When we don't avoid it but enter into it, and in the process, enter into the life of God. When we see our pain not as separating us from, but connecting us to our Maker...” Oh how true that is. As I heal not only physically but emotionally I can only do that through connecting to the Master Healer. I truly believe that my suffering is a rare opportunity from God to showcase how awesome He really is - and He is really awesome!!
and that suffering has a way of connecting people…sometimes in weird circumstances…but the result is usually for the better. I was listening to Selah ( a group whom I love dearly to listen to) and they have a new song out called "unredeemed" and I encourage you to listen to it.
*On a side note as a musician myself I am continually at "awe" at the gift Selah has in writing songs. I have studied many different forms of music song different styles and listened to millions of different songs yet none as talented as the group Selah and their song writers - one day I pray I can be half as talented. * I am so glad that God takes me and all my brokenness and he uses it. I am really trying hard to remind myself each day that this could be my last. I know sounds like a horrible thought but I truly believe that if we thought that way each day we would live our lives differently. We are not guaranteed tomorrow it is by God's grace we have tomorrow. I am continually challenged as I look at many others out there suffering so much more or differently than I am and yet their faith and strength is so strong. I guess I say all this and it might not make any sense as I'm very exhausted and writing this very late but its just all floating in my head and I wanted to get it out. So I leave you with these lyrics by someone who is much more gifted with words then I am

" When anything that's shattered is laid before the Lord just watch and see it will not be .... unredeemed".

What a promise and truth those words hold. I am hoping to start blogging again my frequently but not at the expense of my time with God ( or my husband and my family cause I love them dearly to) ... now to start catching up on all your blogs...

Busy, Busy, Busy...

Well I have been so busy - excuses I know - so busy in fact that I have a million, yes that is a bit of an exaggeration, blogs to catch up reading but busy is sometimes fun and in my case it has been.

Well where should I start - probably with my most exciting news... WE BOUGHT A HOUSE!! My husband and I have been saving saving saving for over 2 years now and praying for God to show us where he wants us to live and start a family and buy our first house. We have lived in two different places since we've been married equating to two different apartments and as hard as living in an apartment has been for us it was worth the wait. We truly believe that God wants us to be wise with our money after all it is all His money he has just in trusted it to us. So my husband and I agreed on an amount of money we wanted to have before we bought a house. So we started looking seriously in about the end of May... we looked in two different cities and were just praying that God would show us His will for us and bring the "perfect" house for us. We found lots we like but none that we "loved" until June 25th - we viewed 4 houses that day and we fell in love with the first house of the day. 85 Bloomington.... 85 is a great number as it was the year both my husband and I were born... the house is only 2 years old and we wanted a newer home... its the perfect size we wanted .... and they accepted our offer on the first try so we definitely felt Gods hand in all of it. We don't close till October but thats ok because we are just so excited and thankful for finding "our house"... which still sounds very weird to say. So we are excited to start this new chapter in our journey together as homeowners.... so I spend my nights lying in bed dreaming of how Im going to decorate my house ect... its so exciting!

Other exciting news my cousin who is like my little sister came on June 18th and has been staying with us for the past 4 weeks and it has been so much fun. I love her to pieces she is just like a mini me and Im sad she is leaving on Friday, but it has been so fun and we have made some lasting memories. She and my other cousins and Uncle and Aunt live in Peru and are missionaries there so its hard to believe I wont see her for another 1 1/2 as they come home ever 2 years (they were home last summer on furlow) but next time she comes back to stay for college so Im excited for that and for her to come stay in her bedroom at MY house!!!

My husband and I have also been busy packing for our trip out west. We fly out tomorrow to Calgary for 5 days as my sister in law (my husbands sister) is getting married on Saturday. We are very excited about our short trip especially to see our niece who we met at Christmas but is now 11 months old and growing by the day. I am looking forward to the trip it will be very very busy and fly by I know but we intend to enjoy ever minute of being together with family as distance makes that hard to do alot. I will take pictures and post when I get back.

So all in all our lives have been very busy this summer and it doesn't look like they will be slowing down anytime soon but it is an enjoyable busy if you know what I mean.

I hope everyone is having a great summer so far. Is anyone still following the bachelorette? I almost had to stop because Wes was getting on my nerves too much but so happy he is gone and Ed is back!! I have been rooting for Ed since the first episode and was sad when he had to leave and I respected his decision cause I don't know what I would do in that situation. I really like Reed, Kiptyn and Ed - ultimately I hope Ed wins but the other two guys I would be just as happy to see with Jillian. So we will see.... oh reality tv what would we do without you!!!

What a weekend ....

I, yet again, am lacking in the blogging department and Im sorry about that. Everyday I am like "ok today I must update my blog" and that day comes and goes and I never get a minute to do so. So today I made myself sit down and take a few minutes to update. Let me tell you though I make sure I read all your blogs so I dont miss in any of the excitement and action going on in your lives - but its easy to read it from anywhere on my blackberry - just harder to update from there.

This past weekend my cousin and her husband and baby came up to my parents cottage with me and my husband. What a fun weekend we had!! The weather was amazing on Friday and Saturday - and even though it rained on Sunday we had tons of fun playing games ect. We managed to stay up till 3 am on Sunday playing games and laughing having a good time.

Here are a few pictures from our weekend with them!!

playing a little phase 10 on the deck Saturday night

one of my husbands "catches" of the day

Demi and Kinsley (my cousin) fishing




my mom loved loving on this little guy all weekend - made her itch to be a grandma even more ...
one day soon I hope mom!!



I loved cuddling and holding this little guy all weekend - he is such a good baby.


Well I have many more pictures but this is just a taste from our weekend. It was so fun I am looking forward to many more with them this summer!

On a different note let me just say there was a lot of yelling, cheering, clapping, whistling when Ed came back last night on the Bachalorette... Oh I was a happy girl!! I hope he wins thats all I can say... although I like Kipten and Reid too... we'll have to see though. As long as Wes is gone I'll be happy. Hope everyone is having a good week. Tomorrow here in Canada is a holiday, so its a nice little break in the week for me. Although typically we get a long weekend with our holiday this year it falls on a Wednesday - but Im not complaining, a day off work and to sleep in with my husband, who cares which day that falls on.